1. You’re not to think you are anything special.
2. You’re not to think you are as good as we are.
3. You’re not to think you are smarter than we are.
4. You’re not to convince yourself that you are better than we are.
5. You’re not to think you know more than we do.
6. You’re not to think you are more important than we are.
7. You’re not to think you are good at anything.
8. You’re not to laugh at us.
9. You’re not to think anyone cares about you.
10. You’re not to think you can teach us anything.
11. Perhaps you don’t think we know a few things about you?
(Janteloven, the Law of Jante)

 

Walking through the downtown in a typical day. Sunny and relatively warm for this time of the year, although some cool wind gusts happen to blow from time to time.

– It’s too hot, mum! I want to take off my coat!

– But you’ll be the only one on the street with just a T-shirt on you!

– But it’s sunny, mum!

– Look around you! Everyone has coats on; you’ll be the only one with a T-shirt only!

– But it’s warm outside and I’m sweating…

– You’d be the only one so lightly dressed! So NO, put back your coat! And shut up!

I hear this discussion behind me. I don’t even turn back and I don’t even look around to see how the others are dressed… or their reaction to this loud verbal exchange… But I ponder…

The child expressed his perceptions and delivered his reality: it’s too hot for him and he’s sweating. The mother should have told him that, despite the illusion of sunny warm weather, and since the chilly wind still blows from time to time, he risks being cold in a couple of minutes (also taking into consideration that he is already sweating). She could have negotiated to leave the coat on, but open it a bit in front (or around the neck). She could have also explained that shifting temperatures could lead to catching a flu.

None of these happened.

Instead, the mother brought forward the following reasoning: just because you have a distressing perception (of being hot), a personal need (to get cooler) and a good & sensible argument (I’m sweating because I’m hot), you should do what the others do (that is, obey), because being different (original, or just practical) is bad (therefore conformity and being under the social radar is good), and under no circumstances am I available to you for an explanation (clarification of why it’s bad for your health to excessively undress on a sunny but windy day). Basically, the child said that he’s hot and the mother said that he should obey the opinion of the majority and disregard his own perception and distress.

What will the child learn from this? He will learn to rely more on other’s opinions and less (or not at all) on his own insights. He will learn to believe what is being said to him by others and rely less on what he sees, feels or thinks himself. He will learn that his opinions don’t matter when it comes to fitting in the mob (a mob that could also be his own partner, family or job). He will learn to ignore his own feelings and suppress his distress. He will take his mother’s fear (of not fitting in) and make it a fear of his own (and he will probably believe that he was born a coward while in reality he has learned cowardice from his beloved mother).

In the end, in a dystopian possible future, the entire population will sweat abundantly under a burning sun (or under a dictatorship for tens of years) because there wouldn’t be a single person brave enough to take off her coat, for fear of being the first one to be excluded (or executed).

Now this is how you raise a generation of losers, ready to give birth to the next tyrant.

***
cezarspace.wordpress.com/2025/04/11/born-to-be-an-underdog
cezardanilevici.substack.com/p/born-to-be-an-underdog